Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
