dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
