last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
