She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
