my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
