Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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