gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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