I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
