I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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