Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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