can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
