i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
