butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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