she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
