Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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