Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's never too late to be topless.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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