but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
