You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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