youre lurking in front of me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
