you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
ugly people sure do ruin things
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Randomize
