Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
