i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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