It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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