I love black thongs
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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