what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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