Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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