I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just high enough for therapy.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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