I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
