i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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