Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
