How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize