Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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