3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
