everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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