it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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