Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
