you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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