I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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