Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I love you. Go after that dick
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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