Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Gay?
German.
Pity.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
