I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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