The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize