if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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