You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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