I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm at about main and main street
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
