I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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