We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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