dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
