life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
