last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
