it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
