Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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