I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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