why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
