dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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