Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
