very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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