Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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