...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
