thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
