Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
