WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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