I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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