Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Let's get the cat blown out
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
