True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So vagazzling was a success
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
