Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
